Heart Listening

“He repeats the same old story over and over.”

“She has said that a hundred times.”

“I am tired of listening.”

Ever have that feeling while visiting with a loved one or sharing with a person who is dealing with moderate cognitive impairment or Alzheimer’s? Not easy, is it? We have to learn to “heart listen” as we share our love with those who have special mental needs. We need to cultivate HEART LISTENING.

“Heart listening” is to perceive the story behind what is actually being said.

As family members and caregivers we need “heart listening” when we visit with our loved ones, even when they repeat, repeat, repeat and repeat again. Heart listening may take a little practice. It takes a good ear to hear the story. To listen to what is behind the words of a loved one. Heart Listening is to hear beyond to the words. Even the repetitions an unintelligible words are important to the speaker. So we begin to listen not only with our ears but with our hearts. How? you ask. By giving our full, undivided attention without imposing our own personal agendas when listening. This requires that we focus on the person speaking, not just the words we hear. To listen with the heart is to listen to the feelings and needs of the person where he or she may be in life. To put it simply, “heart listening is love in action.”

As the person repeats over and over, remember the person may be enjoying, reliving, or revisiting a past experience. The next time we hear that “same old story,” listen with your heart as God listens to us. He listens with patience, with love, with acceptance, always understanding our shortcomings. So we learn to listen – not just with our ears but with a heart full of love and compassion for the one for whom we care and love. May not be easy, but essential for the well being of both the listener and the speaker.

Prayer: Lord, open my heart and ears. Help me listen with a heart full of love and compassion even as Jesus did. Amen.

~Pastor Douglas van Gessel, Chaplain